i'm a ball of emotion today but reading this comment on Mind Body Green is so beautiful and elequently put, that it's centering and uplifting:
"Love is beautiful and full of magic. Magic in the choice. I have witnessed love in a moment and in a lifetime. The truth is, I believe, in love being a choice to believe in the dream, in the poem, in the freedom, the acceptance, the patience, the desire, the irrational aspect of it all. Choose the dream, and live happily and see God, or whatever you believe in, in the love you decide to choose."
and also wonderful pieces of advice here and there:
"The key here for me in this great article is the 'together' part. If only one person is making the choice and the commitment, it doesn't make a darn bit of difference. I stayed in such a relationship for way too long because ultimately what I learned was, I was in it alone. So you can love another for all of the 'right' reasons, but if they are not there with you in the middle of it all every single day, it makes no difference. Just because someone 'says' they love you, it is not enough! It's the 'action' as you so rightly say John, that will make the difference. It took a long time and a very painful journey for me to figure this out, but like most things worth having in this life, it's usually not easy."
"nothing is more beautiful than when you both know you're choosing to love each other..not clinging onto something but choosing to love each other...it's very different, very beautiful and puts air under your wings rather than clipping them. Grateful to experience that."
and perhaps one of the points that speaks to me the greatest: "The choice to love creates opportunity to hit notes in life that you could never hit alone, and THIS is what makes your choice worth it."
the article can be found here. a wonderful read:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5379/How-Do-You-Know-When-You-Love-Someone.html
--------
part of me wants to cry because i feel so vulnerable, like i'm free falling and it's terrifying, because i've never been here before and i don't know what lies ahead. doubts creep in as to how he feels or what he's thinking. and then i stop that snowball of thoughts. i'm being owned by the uni. like so so hard. my walls are becoming obliterated beyond comprehension, more swiftly than i can almost keep up with. i was caught off gaurd, completely. ego: crushed. i'm being served. and i have to take it. i'm being shown what love is. and i didn't see it coming one bit. it feels like a giant rouge wave sweeping me away. one that i've had reoccuring dreams (or nightmares, rather) about for years.
i have to become the sea. if i don't, i will become sea sick.
(keep crushing my ego, keep crushing my ego...)
...a voice from within comes in to tell me to just take it a babystep at a time. one foot in front of the other. because this is happening. and it's happening for a reason. somehow, some way, against all odds i've touched on something magical. i dont know how to describe it other than magical. not good, nor bad. filled with both ups and downs, flows and ebbs. just magical. and no matter what, at the end of the day, i will be stronger, better, and more aware. i will be surrounded by beauty, people and otherwise. and i'll always be okay.
<3